Impending

Virginia tells me Walt is anxious
there is something about impending
or the intenstity of impending
that keeps him up at nights

The jet-lag only makes this worse
but he insists that it makes things better
and to prove the point he goes off
on this ancient riff about collectors
exhibitions and the demolitions

The demolition of emotions

She interjects this last phrase
as way to get him started
but nothing doing
he already has his trigger
and his trigger is Dream

Dream is the word he uses
to jumpstart his fuzzy logic

Dream

File it under Dream
as in dream research

The archives?

Yes the archives

I was stuck in them all night
thinking I would finally go to sleep
but then I realized I was asleep
lodged inside the depths of the archives

The fact that you realized you were asleep
means the research was lucid
so there must have been some wealth
some buried treasure

Yes

The archives are buried down

deep

into the core

into the floating root

and this testifies to the primal history

What primal history?

(Virginia has to ask because
she is not sure where he is going with this)

The primal history that says:

YOUR MONEY SLEEPS INSIDE ME.

Or:

MAKING A SIGN THAT ONE IS DISAPPEARING.

Who is making such a sign? (she asks)

It is making a sign (he responds)

It (she repeats as if firm in her belief)

It is making a sign (she repeats again)

Yes (he confirms)

It is making a sign
so that I can see what it is
that makes while making

While making a living
making a home
making friends
making it all work out

Am I making sense?

I hope not

Walt was certainly making something
making things never made before
things he was certain were valuable
but then uncertainty crept in
and he would go digging
deep into the archive that was Dream

He was subconsciously aware
that what was really happening
was that he was seeing things make themselves

Seeing things make themselves
but with his name on them
as if signing his name
was another kind of making
a kind of persona making
as if his persona were in-the-making
where by naming things that made themselves
he could somehow make a living
a living never really encapsulated
but that entailed movement
eagerness of knowing through playing
playing as research into process
process as investigation into life
life process as investigation into making

Such thoughtful wandering might enable him to

(Virginia could not finish her thought

so she kept walking with him

without saying a word

although a word

was on her mind

and the word was

PASSION)

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Metadata: making, writing, passion, dream