Melting Writer's Block

Kathy Acker once wrote:

Masturbation Journal.

DAY 1.

(This might not make any sense.)

the movement in my clit is like going, {this
a movement, {is still
in a wave >>> my expectation {description

I haven't gone anywhere, to the realm, yet.

"strap" >>> it begins

There is nothing: it is here that language enters:

1. To calm the irritation. Just calm the irritation. Where is the opening, the door that opens?

Irritation is happy to be touched, but if it turns too expectant or excited without relaxing, it will become rigid.

The arising is a single, growing clit;

2. lose myself (beginning to lose myself)

3. becoming music. The more I become it, the more I trust it, hold on, just hold on, follow, don't have to do anything else.

4. purely holding on. Now, the more, the better. I'm there, I'm there, (have made the transfer to another person which is music)

going over.

When writing wouldn't come, then she would turn to her body and let the language speak itself.

In an interview conducted with R. U. Sirius and published on Alt-X, she said:

I'm starting to worry about self-censorship -- that I might be internalizing some shit. I might be writing what people expect me to write, writing from that place where I might be ruled by economic considerations. To overcome that, I started working with my dreams, because I'm not so censored when I use dream material. And I'm working at trying to find a kind of language where I won't be so easily modulated by expectation. I'm looking for what might be called a body language. One thing I do is stick a vibrator up my cunt and start writing -- writing from the point of orgasm and losing control of the language and seeing what that's like.

Writing as discharge.

(A counter-spillage to Derridean dissemination? I'm sure she would have something to say about that)

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Metadata: Kathy Acker, body, language, music